Denial

I am infertile.

It’s taken me nearly 20 years to say those words. I. Am. Infertile. You see, saying it makes it real, and I didn’t want it to be true, so I said other words. I have irregular periods. I have to be on The Pill to regulate my cycle. I don’t ovulate regularly. All code words for I Am Infertile.

After 16 years of irregular periods, I was officially diagnosed with PCOS in 2004, about 3 months after I went off The Pill to try to get pregnant. I always knew that I would have problems conceiving, but I never really understood how painful infertility can be.

So here we are 3 years later, still fighting the good fight. Here’s hoping that it ends well.